When the Novelty of the Baby Wears Off

When the Novelty of a Baby Wears Off | Motherhood is lonely

Mama, think back to your early days of motherhood.  If they were anything like mine, they were hectic, overwhelming, and filled with lots of well-meaning visitors.  Everyone wanted to help.  Everyone wanted to hold the baby.  You had a long list of loved ones just waiting to babysit.  Every time you made plans with your girlfriends, they’d ask excitedly “is the baby coming?!”

But some time after you give birth to that brand-new, oh-so-exciting baby, the novelty wears off.

You see, nobody warns you about how lonely this stage of parenthood is.  This stage when you feel left out, almost forgotten.  This stage when the excitement fades.  

There comes a point when you stop getting invited to places.  And when you are, the invitation starts with “can you get a sitter?”  There comes a point where your once eager-to-babysit friends and family suddenly seem annoyed by your child.  They don’t mean anything by it, but instead of helping, they now sit back while you struggle to wrangle everything, sometimes not even taking their eyes off of their phones.

The majority of your days are now spent at home.  When you do leave, you find yourself narrating your way through Target, referring to yourself in the third person… “Mama forgot to grab laundry soap – where is the laundry soap, baby?” Crickets.

In the beginning of this stage, you’ll make attempts to solicit companions with you on these trips.  “Hey, wanna go to the mall with us today?”  “Wanna go for a walk to the park?”  “Wanna check out that new farmer’s market?” Bueller, Bueller…

Now I’m not saying motherhood should be treated as a charity case.  I’m just a little confused by this phenomenon.  Where does the shift happen?  When does the novelty of a baby wear off?

When does motherhood get so lonely?

When the Novelty of a Baby Wears Off | Motherhood is lonely

18 thoughts on “When the Novelty of the Baby Wears Off

  1. I felt isolated and lonely RIGHT after my daughter was born…even though I had a million people around! I almost felt trapped in a way. It was a major shock going from zero kids to one, but I’m hoping going from 1 to 2 is a bit easier!

    1. For me, 1 to 2 was easier. However, people definitely aren’t as excited about the second baby. Motherhood truly is so lonely, mama!

  2. Once my husband went back to work the isolation set in. It was rough and I totally get it. I’m better prepared for this next round I think. I hope.

    Thanks for sharing.

  3. Motherhood can be a really lonely and overwhelming job. But our love for those kiddos makes it all worth it. I remember feeling really lost, too, after my daughter was born. I wish I would have reached out to people more so they could have told me a lot of my feelings were universal ones!

    1. You’re so right! Funny how we think we’re alone, but so many mamas are experiencing the same feelings. Thanks for reading, Corey!

  4. I started feeling so alone as soon as my son was born. He was in the NICU for a long time and when he was there everyone was scared to visit and once he got home I was terrified to let anyone near him. Throw in some friends moving away and husband working out of town and I spent the majority of my time talking to my baby instead of adults and going to the gym to be around other adult was the highlight of my week.

  5. I know the lonely feeling. Mine are older 15, 12 and 6. The 6yr old still loves to hang out with mama but the older 2 not so much. I miss the days when I was there world and the mama when I get big Im going to marry u lol. Gotta love em

    1. Thanks for reading, Jessica. It’s always scary to put my feelings out there, but it’s such a cleansing experience. I love connecting with other mamas who can relate.

  6. Definitely the truth. My best friend just had her first, and I just had my third. She’s definitely still in the new exciting phase and I don’t know how to explain to her that it isn’t always going to feel like this. That eventually friends and grandma get tired of the babysitting. It gets lonelier. I think mom friends help — but they SURE are hard to find! Sending hugs momma!

  7. Oh, mama! I agree so much! Having a baby is wonderful, but it’s also extremely lonely. No one can truly take care of the tiny human like us mamas can; and the weight of that is SO heavy. SO so heavy.

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